⚠️ Aggression · 5 steps · Your safety first

They lashed out — and you're shaken.

Your safety comes first, always. These five steps are how other families get through aggressive moments.

A calm-steps card from ourturn.care/help

1. 1

   Your safety comes first

   If you feel physically unsafe, step back immediately. Move out of arm's reach. Do not try to restrain them unless someone is in immediate danger.

   • Position yourself near an exit — don't let yourself get cornered
   • Remove dangerous objects from reach
   • Keep your voice low and calm — do not shout
   • Do not make sudden movements
2. 2

   Ground yourself

   Aggression triggers a fight-or-flight response in you too. Take one moment to breathe. You need to think clearly, and that's hard when your adrenaline is surging.

3. 3

   What triggered this?

   Aggression in dementia is almost always a reaction to something — pain, fear, frustration, feeling trapped, or sensory overload. The behavior is communication.

   • Were they being asked to do something?
   • Were they in pain or physically uncomfortable?
   • Was the environment noisy or chaotic?
   • Did they feel cornered or restrained?
   • Did a stranger or unfamiliar person approach?
4. 4

   Give space and time

   Back off. Give them room. Stop whatever activity triggered the aggression. Come back in 15–20 minutes as if nothing happened — they likely won't remember.

   • Leave the room if safe to do so
   • Remove the trigger if you can identify it
   • Don't take it personally — this is the disease
   • When returning, approach slowly with a warm, calm tone
5. 5

   When this is an emergency

   If they have a weapon, if someone is injured, if the aggression doesn't subside, or if this is a new and severe change in behavior — call emergency services. Tell them the person has dementia.

These steps are things other families try — not medical advice. Every person is different, and you know yours best.